WAW...Again, Part III

[stumps]

Don't overthink

Have no expectations.

Don't take anything personally.

Try to do that while she's away and see if it makes a difference in you.

Once again...words to live by.

One thing I've noticed I do when I'm not "minding my mind" so to speak, is that I will think along the lines of "Well, if W loved me she would _______ " or "If W wanted to be with me she would _______". Then I fill in those blanks with the things I would do or say to let someone know I loved and wanted to be with them, without taking into account that those aren't necessarily the same things W would do to show those feelings. And what's more, they can just as easily be things about which I've never said "Hey, these are the things that I like and that I take as signs of your love/desire to be with me." There's just this inaccurate assumption along the lines of "hey, this is what I like and they're pretty common sense so if this person loved me it would just come to them naturally."

We (or at least I) can so easily attribute inaccurate feelings and thoughts to another person's behavior. People really do speak their own languages when it comes to how they give and receive love... and we all (or at least I) use our own "coding scheme" when we're trying to decipher someone else's feelings and behavior... I think this is where so many of us (or at least I) can run into trouble...

The frustrating thing is, how else are you supposed to figure out what's going on with someone else? I think that's one of the places where "Don't overthink. Have no expectations. Don't take anything personally." really shows its value. That, and learning not to spend too much time trying to figure out what's going with someone else in the first place. Learning how to foster open communication and mutual respect is probably more key than trying to get inside someone else's head...