My H's MLC

[Ssarah]

Georgiabelle thanks for sharing your experiences.. it really does help to hear that you're not alone in this. I have a DB coach and need to get on IC. My H also repeatedly states that he does not want to W on our marriage. He told me in recent weeks that our R has run its course and he now has to wipe the slate clean and start from scratch. That is why he needs the D. He tells me that he knows we could make it work if we tried but that it would only last 6 months to a year because people don't change and I would go back to being my "nasty" self. And because he's 36 he doesn't have another 6 months or a year to give us he has to restart now.

I was reading more of your sitch and my H and yours have so many similarities. My H is also all consumed with his phone. He supposedly comes home from work to see the kids for a while but he is on his phone the entire time. My daughter will repeat herself 5 times and he still ignores her. Although she's only 3 she definitely gets it. She has said to my babysitter, my daddy is angry, my daddy is crazy, my daddy threw a chair... This all definitely affects her. She used to be all over him and now is extremely cautious when he's around. What troubles me the most and a major reason I'd like to start IC is because I see that my daughter blames herself in a way for his behavior. Because the times he's exploded were when she's cried, or not wanted to eat, or something relating to her, she thinks if she behaves then all will be well. If she so much as drops something near him she'll apologize profusely. I always make light of it and tell her it's okay it's no big deal but she still looks to him for affirmation of the same. He is also such a child around her. The other day he was sitting with her supposedly feeding her (on his phone the whole time) and she mistakenly poked him in the eye. Well he had a tantrum about it, grabbing his eye hypreventilating about how much it hurt and my daughter just kept repeating I'm sorry daddy I'm sorry daddy while he kept lecturing her and whining. I seriously wanted to punch him. I really feel like I have an infant, toddler and teenager at home.

So now I am putting all focus on detaching. It's definitely a conscious effort that I must make but I'm working on it. I am very talkative by nature so when he's around I converse with the kids instead of with him.