Ugh... I leave in a few hours and am feeling not so great about this. I feel like I'm going behind H's back and being retaliatory or devious in some way by not telling him I'm going on this trip. I mean, there's no reason I should be telling him - he doesn't want to be M, he didn't want me to live with him, he didn't want to tell me anything about what he was doing or what he was up to, so by all accounts it's fair that I don't tell him what I'm doing. But it kind of feels like a "tit-for-tat" thing ("he doesn't tell me anything, so now I'm going to keep something a secret from him!") rather than a healthy "we're separated so I'm not concerning myself with him" attitude. I don't know exactly why I'm feeling this way today. Maybe it's because I still want to be M/feel M in some ways, and if I was M I'd certainly tell my H as soon as I was thinking about going on a trip, so now I feel guilty. I don't know.
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
Your h said he said he didn't want to be M. I don't say that to be harsh. You sound smart, dedicated, committed, funny and attractive. I know it isn't your job to teach lessons- life does that. However, I think you owe yourself a good time. Go, enjoy the pool, have a couple of overpriced cocktails, people watch (that alone is worth the trip) and relax. Your h? Well he can worry about himself. You don't owe him an explanation of what you are doing because you aren't doing anything wrong. You are simply living and going to have fun! Nothing to feel guilty about now. Enjoy:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Ugh... I leave in a few hours and am feeling not so great about this. I feel like I'm going behind H's back and being retaliatory or devious in some way by not telling him I'm going on this trip. I mean, there's no reason I should be telling him - he doesn't want to be M, he didn't want me to live with him, he didn't want to tell me anything about what he was doing or what he was up to, so by all accounts it's fair that I don't tell him what I'm doing. But it kind of feels like a "tit-for-tat" thing ("he doesn't tell me anything, so now I'm going to keep something a secret from him!") rather than a healthy "we're separated so I'm not concerning myself with him" attitude. I don't know exactly why I'm feeling this way today. Maybe it's because I still want to be M/feel M in some ways, and if I was M I'd certainly tell my H as soon as I was thinking about going on a trip, so now I feel guilty. I don't know.
Of course you're feeling new things, you've never done this before. What you're saying/feeling is to be expected, now go deeper and ask why?
Then let it go and have a good time.
Have a drink and quiet that judge voice.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I'm feeling pretty good after bottomless mimosas and a brunch buffet! Las Vegas is a good place to travel solo. The only awkward part is eating alone but it encourages me to be more mindful. Usually when I eat I need to read or watch tv. Here I'm really trying to focus on the food. I'm glad I did this without waiting for someone to go with me. I'm an early sleeper so I'll be in my room before it's too crazy outside, so I shouldn't have to worry about my safety too much...apparently the strip is a relatively crime-safe place!
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
Hmmm. H sent the following text today. "Interestingly [H's boss] is in Vegas too. Hope you're having a good time. Lots of storms here." I've been posting some pics on facebook, so it's not as if it's a secret, but interesting that he reached out to me. Now I kinda feel bad for not acknowledging any of his travels but....whatever. not pursuing. I responded back with "I'll keep an eye out for him!" re: the boss...which was kind of silly because I am unlikely to spot him. But, left it at that, no further conversation. Gotta keep some mystery I also chatted with a lovely British woman traveling solo while we were both at a cafe, who was divorced and assured me I'd find someone
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
