Another of my friends taught me that I should, at least some of the time, treat my H like an "affair partner." Not her words but you get the point. I almost gagged when she said that, and then the, "but he doesn't...., but I don't have time or energy...., I'm tired....." started.
She also introduced me to The Ratio. One of the marriage experts, Gottman maybe, says that the magic ratio is 5:1, happy experiences to unhappy. H and I had that totally upside down. Now I don't keep track of this but I pay attention to my interactions with H and work to be compassionate and loving even if it's a tough topic. It makes a huge difference.
H has changed in response to that. Wee have a very different marriage these days.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
