Hi 25,
Thank you for your thoughts. What started 7 years ago was depression. A terrible illness that 50 million Americans suffer from in any given year (and that number is rising every year). She got past that and things did get better for a couple years. There are many examples of her behaving totally out of character starting about 3 years ago. The weight loss, fear that she was going to die, going out drinking with her "new" friends (she NEVER drank before this), how she acted with the kids, fear of getting old, feeling invisable, changing her/our history, the list is long. More than just his coming back into her life, at the same time all the changes started was right after her father found out he had cancer. That was the big trigger, IMO.

You are right that it doesn't matter if it's MLC or not as the response is the same and exactly what I am doing. And no I really don't "want" it to be MLC as that is a longer process that my W would need to go through. When you have a list of things that would make what she is going through MLC and her actions match better than 90%, I believe that is a good indication that it probably is MLC. The same actions, the same words, the childhood trama, all fit that. So does the fact that most who go through MLC are or have been depressed at one time. But again, like you said, it doesn't matter that much because the response is the same.

I am doing the things that I need to do. My life is my own now and I understand what I need to do for myself and my girls. The thing that hurts the most is both of my D's are at points in their lives where the fact that my W left is making it much harder on them. My W, by deciding HER "needs" come before her kids has made it so much less likely that they can will be able to get the start in life I have worked so hard to give them up till now.

If my W isn't going through MLC then I would call what she has done over the last 3 years "crazy", and would think her suffering from a mental illness. That's how "out of character" her behavior is. Even her own mother thinks the same.