Well, I think it's a huge positive step that she sat and listened without blowing up and shutting you out- take the baby step.
As for the rest, a lot of S's say they miss the person the other S used to be. So now you gotta get that back! That's where DB comes in. Maybe you're too available to her? I don't know. Seems like a pursuer/distancer issue. Try to get the old Grey back.
Try to keep the lines of communication open-
Me: 39 H: 45 Second marriage for both H left 12/2013 M:4 T:5.5