Just finished DR for the second time. I got a much calmer take on my plan and actions. Very hard to identify issues/test reactions to changes when contact is so sparse.

I know i have to give him space and time. I am so into zone 180, i have not contacted him (except for tuition for DD 18) I don't even think of calling him.

The nights are the worst, being in so much pain, dealing with all the fallout - while I know he's out dating is the worst part. Anger settling in, finally. Trying to keep house and home organized and in shape for DD 18 - still home. Don't feel like i can go anywhere, someone has to be here for her (between her work shifts and friends). She is depressed. as am i

So restless. like to be in bed, quiet, but thoughts go crazy. when i go do anything, i get restless and can't stay at it. i move, move, move.
Another beautiful day, the world keeps spinning. it only feels like me thats stuck.

Me: 48
H: 48
Married 26 , together 30
D1: 21
D2: 18
"Happily Married" until BD
4 weeks later: "Im talking to someone"
No papers filed.
Attempting 180, finding it difficult.