I'm so sorry for the path you've had to travel to see your mistakes. It's not an easy road but it is humbling.
I think it's great that you wanted to nurture every aspect of your marriage. Leave no stone unturned. However, I can understand why your W is fearful of you. Your expectations of her participation was unrealistic. It's not that she didn't love you like you love her; she just loved you in her own way. This was hard for me to grasp too. Remember though that it's your behavior that she is fearful of and behaviors can be modified. ;-)
That thing that broke within her...her spirit. You may not have realized it then or even now but I'm sure she felt like a failure too. She didn't understand that your love language is touch. Have you read that book? What was here? Did you take the time to show her? Additionally, I think your marriage suffered from a lot of mixed languages between the two of you. Yeah, we all baggage and issues to work out but it doesn't necessarily equate the death of a M. I have a firm belief that marriage is forever just as God intended it to be in the beginning. I feel that people give up too easily on M and it's really disheartening. If your are a spiritual type I recommend the book "Love & Respect: the Love she most desires. The respect he desperately needs" by Emerson Eggerichs. It's faith based but very practical and applicable, IMO.
About to board for my three-week getaway. Keep posting!
