I just edited my previous post to add that he said we had no plan in place so I sent him a screen shot of our conversation.where he clearly said okay to saying he would let me know if he stayed in town to watch the boys
I realized something today-- people's recollections of conversations are often muddy. People's interpretations of decisions are often different . Did he know for sure you had made other arrangements? Maybe he was trying (in his way) to make sure there was a solution? Maybe you don't like his tone. But one of the beautiful things about your sitch is that you don't have to care about that.
DETACH. Take a breath, mutter a choice word under your breath if you feel the need to, give thanks that you were able to make alternative plans and LET GO.
My h used to have a great memory. He can't remember anything now. It's bizarre. Screenshots are fine, but that may antagonize him more. Keep responses simple, friendly and direct.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I think you can't go wrong with a. "Thanks for checking. I have it covered. Have a nice trip!"
I know you already sent screen shots but you must let it go. Simply respond to the questions and that's it. I know it's difficult. I know it's a challenge when you know he's lying. Guess what? That's on him- not you. Just respond politely and get back to living.
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 07/01/1401:28 AM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Yes it was a pattern but the screen shot was not sent to prove I was right it was to show him he agreed to a plan that he said we never made
I realize this may be difficult to hear... and maybe I'm wrong... but I'm sorry, I don't see the distinction.
Clearly there is some miscommunication. Instead of being so mad and exasperated that he doesn't totally get it, or remember it the same way, or whatever, what if you just *simply* and *cordially* (not angrily or patronizingly or defensively) clear it up, like Georgiabelle suggested?
Thank you both. I see your side Claire and I wasn't trying to make an excuse for myself. This is a pattern in both of us. Him not paying attention and forgetting things that are important. Both while we were together and after BD
It was just frustrating tonight because it was less than 24 hours we made this plan that he seems to have forgotten.
So in the future I won't send screen shots. I have a lot of resentment towards him that I'm working on. But this is a big one for me that he would even want to put the boys in the situation of going away alone with him and OW especially when he hasn't even spent the night with them since he lived here.
My dad lives with me and is at practice and knows us both very well.
He thinks H is asking these things because I come off so happy when H sees me. He said he thinks it bothers H that I'm happy without him. Little does H know it's partially an act
