Funeral for a husband, love lies bleeding

[cczamo]

I am trying focus on me, and not as much on MLC any longer. Reading so much on MLC has confirmed my understanding that H leaving is not really about me, although I do claim my part in the downfall of my M.

Who am I now that I’m not a part of a couple? What do I like? Some things are obvious, such as running, and some other hobbies I enjoyed when I met my H. But I was a single mom at the time, and now my son is grown, so my activities from 15+ years ago are no longer me.
I had to think for 30 minutes to come up with just 10 things for my “bucket list.” It should not take that long. I’ve been going to DivorceCare again, and an infidelity support group. The question for me is how do I stand for my M, even after the D, if and until H remarries, is not easy on my psyche. I’m very conflicted about how it affects my mental health, so I pray a lot, and do get a great amount of peace about waiting longer for a possible miracle.

I may put standing behind me at some point, but for now, I feel a strong conviction to wait longer.