Saw W and kids off at the airport this morning. House seems empty without them already. Reminding myself how fortunate I am that this is merely a week-long vacation for them, given that just a couple of months ago W was saying she was moving out. For all I know she's still planning to, but she hasn't left yet so... Where are we now? W has said she wanted stay in the house while she got accustomed to the new me and while she worked on some things herself, to see if either would lead to a change of her heart/mind.
I've definitely seeing some positive signs... some displays of affection here and there, occasional comments that pertain to us still being together in the future. W has definitely been running hot/cold (actually, more like warm/cold but warm is just fine right now!), so I've been learning to accept what she gives when she's warm and reciprocate, and to give her all the space she seems to want/need when she's cold. We've been having some really good times going out together and here at home with friends/neighbors, which has been a big 180 in our relationship.
I hadn't talked about it in the days leading up to their trip, but I did tell her last night when we were in bed that I was going to miss her a ton when she and the kids were gone. She said she was going to miss me too, and then curled up next to me and later asked me to massage her to sleep. This morning I saw her and the kids off at the terminal curb, where we hugged and kissed and told each other "I love you". We've said that a couple of times in the past week... first time in months. Just going to take it at face value though...a good sign, but not one that means she's changed her mind or that I can start resting on my laurels...not by a long shot.
In addition to the stuff I'm doing to keep myself busy while she and the kids are gone, I think one of my goals for the week should be to not be the one to contact W but rather to let her be the one to contact me if she wants to while they're gone. Part of me already wants to text and see how the flight went and how everyone is doing (particularly as this was the kids' first time flying), but I figure if she wants to hear from me she won't hesitate to get in touch, and I know she'll encourage the kids to call me if they start missing me or getting homesick at any point, so I'm guessing the best thing I can do is lay low and focus on myself here at home.
Can't say I'm not hoping that this week apart will give her an opportunity to miss me...
H: 43 W: 37 M: 11 years T: 12 years S: 11 D: 8 ILYBINILWY, "I want to move out" and "I want a divorce": 3/23/14 MC started: 9/22/14 Affair and past infidelity discovered: 9/26/14 Piecing: 10/20/14
