That was a big step for you, Peter. I hope you can stick to it. If it were me, I would certainly have to make a conscious effort to watch myself and not slip back into those old habits. I think it would be easy to "forget".
I am really proud of you in the way you saw beyond her being gone on that day. You saw the real issue at play. It may take you doing this many, many times before she's convinced you really mean what you said.
I believe you will do it!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
