Hi all - "was never in love"

[Mat]

Well, now it's for real. She signed a lease and is moving out next weekend. I truly don't know how I'm going to get through this.

I am more pessimistic than ever. I am starting to even question the LRT. My call with my coach cannot come soon enough.

It's so tempting to make a plea. If the original problem was that I didn't express my feelings, and that we weren't in love, wouldn't a grand gesture mean something? I don't intend on doing it, but I can't help doubting.

She was just here, as she was staying at the apartment for the weekend while I was at a music festival since Thursday. It breaks my heart to see how happy she is. I thought that when I saw her on Thursday she looked sad, was looking away from me. But today she was a lot more upbeat. Maybe she just wasn't interested in talking to me.

I feel like I won't be able to seduce her again. Just now we hardly had anything to talk about. I feel estranged and it's killing me. Truly feel this is it.

Thanks for reading