Underdog, I've been thinking alot about your post to me.
"Can you elaborate on what your issues are?" I think my issues are the little things that over time made me feel as if I didn't matter to H. My opinion didn't count. It used to be that at least when things got to the point where I was angry, at least then he would listen, but then even that stopped mattering to him. He stopped even marginally working as a team with me. "Try to focus on visualizing what things would look like IF YOU WERE HAPPY. What would you be doing/saying/thinking? I don't want to see one comment about what your H would be doing - this is all about you." I don't know that I'd be doing anything much differently. I'm happy with the majority of my life. I have a job I enjoy, hobbies, exercise...there is a marked difference in how I feel when he's there and how I feel when he's not.

"I'm also curious to hear more about what you discuss with your IC - not the nitty gritty, but the overall reason you've gone. Is it to justify yourself or to really and truly do the work?"
It's accurate to say it was to justify myself. I went to try to figure out what I truly wanted. I came to the decision that a divorce was best for everyone, he told me he was shocked, didn't see this coming, never stopped loving me. I didn't understand how we could have such different perspectives - I second guessed my take on things and have remained in turmoil since.

Cadet, our roles after divorce will be that of parents.
"Is this really going to be good for your children?" At least they will experience both a mother and father who can both make decisions and steer the courses of their lives.

"How is he stopping you from being comfortable?" I described it a little in previous posts. I physically react to his presence. He is (or my perception of him is)very expectant, I can't make a move without him commenting on it, asking if he can help, etc. I don't know if I can describe it any better that. When he does help, there is always a proclamation of what he has done, as though now I may thank him or take note of his acts.

"Why will someone else make you more comfortable?" I'm not asking anyone to make me more comfortable - if we do divorce, I can't see myself ever marrying again.

"Hope you keep posting and stop running away." What is it that you think I'm running away from?