I'm still working on detaching. It's hard to force myself to do things sometimes.
What do you mean by working on detaching. Not a trick question, I just want to know what you consider working on it.
I had a very difficult time (as we all do) with detaching. It took a lot of work. It's a process but you're in control of it.
Make a goal to do one thing every day that's all about you. Doesn't have to be big, in fact it's easier of it's a small thing. Like, spend 30 minutes working on my bike (I ride a bike-bicycle) Tomorrow make it something else, you really need to get out of your head.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
For instance, on Saturday I was feeling a little down after I came home from the gym so I decided to go walk around the mall and explore a little bit/people watch. Then I came home and decided to lay in the sun for a while and relax.
Just little things like that to try and keep my mind occupied. It's definately not easy.
I had a really good day today, felt detached and positive.
I went to the gym after work and then came home and lost it. A huge wave of sadness came over me and I bawled for almost an hour. I can't believe this is happening. Maybe Ive been in denial all this time.
I NEVER would have thought this woman would leave me. She was always head over heels in love with me and willing to do anything for me.
I think back on all the things I did poorly. And I wish I could go back and have a do-over.
I miss her so much it hurts physically. I'm starting to think I loved her much more than she loved me.
I'm so sorry for the pity party. I'm just really struggling right now. I see a lot of people here having some contact with their WAS and I wonder what I'm doing wrong.
WAW has texted me 3 times in 7 weeks. I've followed the rules and never pursued her, I haven't reached out to her, I've given her her space. I just feel she is moving on and realizing that she doesn't have a need for me in her life. And I miss her daughter so much. I'm the only father she's ever known.
Not much to say but I hear you. It hits you hard sometimes, doesn't it? Even on vacation last week there were days when I had to just go up to my room so I could cry for a little while.
Don't mind read about whether or not she's moving on. You don't know what's happening with her or with her daughter either.
I don't know what kind of town you're in, but I know that sometimes you can find a Buddhist center or meditation center that will host classes for a small donation, or even that has them as a "give back to the community" event. It may seem a little out there to go to a Buddhist temple or center but if you can learn some meditation techniques EVERY part of your life will improve. My H was telling a friend last night about what a difference it made to my personality when I was practicing regularly during the time our two oldest children were babies. (so if we hadn't moved away from my yoga studio we would still be happily married???) So I know it makes a visible impact once you get accustomed to it. It definitely is easier to take to with a mentor you trust, however. You also can see if your public library offers community meditation or yoga. I live in a pretty conservative smaller town and we have it, so surely you'll have access to something in Colorado.
I know how much it hurts. You've been doing awesome. There's bound to be a little pushback from time to time. You'll make it.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I had a really good day today, felt detached and positive.
I went to the gym after work and then came home and lost it. A huge wave of sadness came over me and I bawled for almost an hour. I can't believe this is happening. Maybe Ive been in denial all this time.
I NEVER would have thought this woman would leave me. She was always head over heels in love with me and willing to do anything for me.
I think back on all the things I did poorly. And I wish I could go back and have a do-over.
I miss her so much it hurts physically. I'm starting to think I loved her much more than she loved me.
I'm so sorry for the pity party. I'm just really struggling right now. I see a lot of people here having some contact with their WAS and I wonder what I'm doing wrong.
WAW has texted me 3 times in 7 weeks. I've followed the rules and never pursued her, I haven't reached out to her, I've given her her space. I just feel she is moving on and realizing that she doesn't have a need for me in her life. And I miss her daughter so much. I'm the only father she's ever known.
I just hurt.
It does hurt and sometimes you just have to feel it to move to the next level.
Don't worry so much about where she is, focus on where you are.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
You cannot go completely dark on W. That is not the purpose of DBing. Do what works and monitor. You don't want to appear pursuing W.
In my case, the last time Ms. Wonka and I exchanged texts was back in late March. I plan to send her a simple "Hope you have a wonderful 4th Weekend. Bring on the sparklers! Game on! Have fun!" this week. And leave it at that with zero expectations.
