Wife and I have been married 14 years + 4 years dating. We have two kids, 6 and 3.
The biggest problem? She wants us to remain friends, and she wants me to remain a father figure in the children's lives. She truly believes that this will have minimal impact on the children. She says I'm an amazing father, so it's like she has the father figure for the kids, and gets to be happy with her "soulmate"
The phrase "father figure" was really jarring to me. I'm very curious why you (or your W) would use that term.
Sorry you are in this situation. You will find great advice (but also hard questions to ask yourself) here.
