Wife's mental illness and hard decision

[Lifes Twists]

Thanks labug,

I have thought things through and I feel that I am making decisions based on what best for my daughters, myself and finally my wife in that order.

My oldest confided in me this weekend that she has been talking with her mother. Her mother told her that our middle daughter pushed her to hard with her needs and pushed her over the edge. She told my oldest that she did not want my middle daughter to ever move back in with her. I could see how upset my oldest was carrying this kind of information. I held her and told her that she should not be put in the position of having this put on her. That her mother blaming her sister for what happened along with the continued drinking were indications that their mother was not getting well yet and probably was not getting the help she needed.

I am pushing forward on the divorce to get it settled. I feel this will allow things to settle down and give my daughters a sense of some stability in their lives.

I am pushing the divorce so I can settle my life, regroup and chart a new direction for it.

I have looked into alanon. I am planning on going. I am also looking for a new counselor for my self. My present counselor is family oriented and not strong in the area of substance abuse. I feel that she is mostly a sounding boar for me right now and is not challenging me in any way.

I will be talking to my attorney this morning. I am asking him to send a draft divorce agreement to her attorney. In it he will have to discuss the children, what wife needs to do in regards to the drinking and the consequences if she chooses not to work on it. I have to have this in place based on conversations with DCF. If I don't and something happens when they are with her I can be held negligent.

I am hoping that this will bring closure to this sad chapter of our lives. I plan on it allowing a new start and maybe a happy ending.