Great to hear from you! Sometimes I need a reminder of just how crazy making it is to deal with these MLCer's. I like to believe I live in a world of reality! But having to deal with XH is like going in and out of a nightmare at times!
I've detached, I've moved on, and I love my life with my girls! Aside from me having some physical problems now, we're doing really great! But I still get stuck in that anger phase towards him. And I get angry at myself for being angry!
I keep asking myself "how can I change my thinking so Im not so angry at him?" But just as you said, with this MLC, there is no reconciliation.... or I guess maybe another word for it would be closure?
In regards to the relationship I had/have with this man, its different. He's still wanting to reconcile. WE are talking. Our break up ended up in a nasty fight, and after I calmed down I realized that out of respect for him as a person and our relationship, I was willing to talk to him about things.
He wants to reconcile and keep trying. I however just don't see our relationship thriving unless he works on himself! I half way wonder if he's going through his own life crisis.
What drew me to this man is that he's given things to me that I never had in my marriage. The biggest one is emotional intimacy! My XH and I never had that. He accepted the love I wanted to give to him, where XH did nothing but reject it. He saw me for who I was and appreciated it. WE have so much in common, even in how our Ex's left us. WE have alot of fun together and enjoy alot of the same things. He's intelligent and we can have intelligent conversations. He likes animals, and my animals like him!
However.... that doesn't stop the fact that this man has HUGE anger issues and can have a mood swing and verbally throttle me when I can't even see it coming. He becomes completely irrational and accusatory, and can take my words and twist them in ways I can't think up. When he calms down and can tell me about the basis of his feeling, it all comes down to one thing. He feels rejected! The moment he feels rejected, he takes everything to another level. Then the projection of his anger on to me takes place and next thing you know we're fighting!
This is his issue he must fix and heal within himself. I didn't do anything wrong and I won't allow him to make me believe that it's my fault!
I guess in the thought of Law of Attraction, I do believe i attracted this man in my life for a few reasons.
*To feel loved again *To test how much I truly love myself *To resolve issues with my Xh and our marriage, through this relationship with him.
*To grasp what forgiveness is and experience unconditional love.
The synchronicity in our relationship with things in our past and even present are so amazing at times I don't know what to think.
I find that because he has severe issues, it doesn't make me love him less, but I completely accept that due to his issues our relationship with never thrive. It will be nothing but chaos, unless he really does the work and makes some changes.
