Good start. I would suggest some changes and close it with Starksy's comments about a boundary of not living in an open marriage. I've been searching Oxford's and RedHawk's threads for that particular comment by Starsky and came up empty. I know it is somewhere in the DB forums.
Starsky, if you are around, could you pretty please post that paragraph about your core value and boundary about not being friends if the WAW chooses a D and living in a M with the OM. I think it is now the time for Dev to borrow your line in his response to W.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear WAW,
So, I think we can both say our time has come to an end, rather unceremoniously if I do say for myself. I was shocked, hurt, and betrayed beyond belief by what you have done over the last two months.This is a very weak opening. I would say this is shaming. Also say nothing about being betrayed. How's that helping your stich.
I'm not sure your really thinking straight, because you are caught up in an escape, but that is not my call to make.Moralzing. Not helpful. And who's to judge that W is not "thinking straight?!" I have loved you like no other woman in my life. I have tried to be the best husband I can be. I look fondly on our relationship as a great journey. Unfortunately, for me it has been cut short. The pain of this will last for some time for me. STFU about pain lasting a long time. You want to project yourself as a strong man and that you'll be alright.
Accordingly, I will need to move on to protect myself. Effective immediately, we will need to establish some ground rules for access to children and financial ground rules. What rules? We have been partners in many great adventures for years.
I am saddened that you have chosen to end our marriage without giving it a try.She's tried, and tried. You can simply state that D is not what you want but would not stand in her way.I take solace in the fact that I am confident you will one day regret the hasty decision you have made. We have far too much together to throw it away for a fling. Self-righteous indignation. Drop it. Not attractive.
I have been treated like garbage, and hurt substantially. I understand my errors and wish I could have had a chance to correct them with you and allow our lives to florish. I hope you one day realize what you have lost, as I already do. What happened to the first part about "Wow..thanks for sharing about your struggles...etc. That was a good one! Go back to that and work it in a bit. It shows W that you listened and how you would have done things a bit differently.
Take care WAW. While we will converse regarding the kids, whose lives will be indeterminately affected, my contact with you, for self preservation, will be minimal. No longer able to share the smile of success, the glint of surprise, or the embrace of love with you, I chose to see you as little as possible. It sounds a bit petulant. Be the strong one. I'd suggest that you close this with Starsky's paragraph about not being friends if W chose D. That's a powerful message.
You had all my love forever, but you took it and threw it back at me. I deserve better, and will have better. I'd jettison this. It comes a across as a bit angry.
I'm not a bad person. I deserve someone that loves me for whom I am. I'd end this on a high note. Re-work this a bit more.
