Thank you for your post and sorry for taking so long to reply to you. Interesting to see the parallels between our situations. It helps to see that not only one's own spouse acts strangely but that there are many common patterns in other relationships.
In my case time has progressed - I am now officially divorced. At least there has been no hostility between me and X which is good for the kids. Shuffling them weekly back and forth between my and my X's place is tedious and the kids hate it (there's always something left behind at the other place) but at least X is cooperative. I have seen much worse examples here.
My job keeps me very busy, add taking care of the three kids for half of the week all by myself then there is no spare time left.
Right now I have been sent abroad once again and although the trip brings its own challenges I finally have some time for myself to post this update.
You asked how I am feeling - surprisingly balanced. Yes, there is a bit of sadness about the end of the marriage but now it's only a faint pain compared to the beginning. My priorities now are my kids, my health and my job and I try to care for them as best as I can.
I am very relieved that the divorce is no shock for the kids. Actually I am proud how well they take the whole development. They have not deteriorated in school, keep their old friends and find new ones.
Many of the posters I watched when I started here are gone. It seems that after 2-3 years most people move on. I post this update so that people can see a complete story.
My lesson for newcomers would be: cope with the pain as well as you can. The chances of a reconciliation are not good. But instead of scheming how to improve your odds it's better to focus on your own life. In the long run your personal progress will outweigh the pain of the separation.
