I'd suggest a fun, light text to H. How about, "Hey...I betcha you're making a sand sculpture of Goofy! Enjoy your day."
As for H's BD card, my recommendation is to get a card from the kids and you. Then you can insert some WOA on what a wonderful Dad he is and that you appreciate him. Then spritz it, as Fig suggested earlier, with perfume that is a favorite of H. This way it accomplishes three things:
-H will have warm, fuzzy feelings of the family as a whole -It will give the appearance of you not pursuing him if you were to get him an individual card from you...somewhat a distance but yet there at the same time -Pheromones are a powerful association of memories
You can have a small gift for H that shows you're thoughtful and considerate of his interests. For example, if he loves golf, then a new golf glove or a set of tees. Nothing over the top! See where I am going with this?
Let's hold off on the lipstick and save it up for some prime opportunity when it arises. My, my aren't we an evil bunch here!
Wowza, so I think I might have called it on the 'he might be too anxious to contact me'. I texted him and said: "Hope you all are enjoying this beautiful day, great one for the beach :-)" H replies immediately and sends me pics of the kids and say's "hope you're enjoying it too, we are at the beach, you should stop by"
Hmmm...now what to do. Should I stop by or am I too busy?
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
I went, wore a sundress H has admired before, shows off some of my best assets very well which he loves ;-) No wedges, you must not live near the beach Wonka, sand and wedges don't mix!
Had a delightful time sitting together and chatting while the kids played. It was gorgeous out. Was there for an hour or so. H was definitely back in the giddy/flirty zone.
He invited me to lunch tomorrow with him where his older daughter just started waitressing. It was very casual invite in conversation, I didn't really reply (actually, don't think I can go because of my work schedule tomorrow).
So I'm feeling quite good. Not just because of this really nice visit with H but more because I feel like I did a lot this weekend to get ME back on track. I think it showed in the convo with H too, I was able to chat about lots of stuff I did on my own around the house, visiting a really great friend and just totally had a positive attitude. Showed off fab, level headed, independent, interesting mdu a bit ;-)
So glad I am posting all this so I can refer back to exactly what I did to center myself when I'm spiraling. With a little help from all of you, of course ;-)
Oh and yes, I know, NO expectations! I'm just enjoying this for what it was, a lovely time.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Oh and I didn't even post all the GAL I did today. All stuff I did all alone and very much enjoyed being by myself. Went for a fantastic run on a trail that cuts through a saltwater marsh. Lots of kayakers, I thought 'I need to do that!'. Visited the local farmers market, not as awesome as I'd hoped but something I've been wanting to do forever. And finally stained a wooden swing we have out front that has been half stained for a year! I'll admit I did just a so-so job but hey, at least I finally did it! (home projects are so not my thing). Did some reading and watched a movie too. Also, been fiddling around with a chess app! Another great distraction when my mind heads in unproductive directions. Never got around to cooking/baking but thinking about taking the kids strawberry picking when they get back home, so maybe some baking then, maybe we'll even share with H ;-)
Feels great to know I can so totally entertain myself without needing anyone else at all. And I can get my mind off of the sitch with H. I don't know why I doubted this, I guess it's just such a long, long time since I've had this kind of time alone.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Woke up this morning missing H a lot. After an enjoyable time together it's so hard not to.
Thinking about asking him if he wants to do something this week. At one point we had discussed taking a day off together. Maybe I will see if he wants to sometime this week, I could probably swing it with work. Dunno, am I being too pushy? I mean I assume he'll just say no if he's not up for it..
Last edited by mdu; 06/30/1401:26 PM.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
