I have been diligent in practicing this when talking with my H. I have to constantly remind myself that the things he's saying aren't true but...oh they feel so true sometimes. I'm sorry that your W talks pooh about you. I can't recall ever being so angry that I was hurtful that way. My anger is usually a cry for love not hate.
Today he took his anger out on the children. They're back from camp and will be leaving tomorrow for their 6-week summer vacation. I understood that there were a lot of times when i would veto him in disciplining because I felt he was just too uptight. So today, i hung back a bit and watched. Finally, I took him to the bedroom and flat out told him "that you can be mad at them all you want for the things they are not doing or are repeatedly doing wrong but you will only be in their lives for a little while longer and then I will be the one to clean up the emotional/psychological mess you've made." This worked apparently since he calmed down a bit and even apologized to my son. Since then he's been really pleasant and helpful...helping my 14-year-old how to shave and my 10-year-old to pack her suitcase, doing the laundry. He got really talkative with me and stayed in the bedroom as i was ironing his work clothes. It was such a pleasant exchange that I even laughed at his jokes. It felt like just another normal day before he dropped the bomb. I'm not sure to make of this behavior. Is it out of guilt or is it sincere?
