Long term marriage - husband quit!

[bugsby]

It's only a boundary if you enforce it. Of course he's going to whack away at it as long as you allow it. You're in control of your boundaries.

Yes, very true. But the 180 says to listen listen listen... I tried.

Did he actually say he wanted you to pursue him?
Yes. He is SHOCKED than I still don't. But he says he's DONE!, and he said he is quite put out that I expect him to "chase" me!-- I only said I will talk about "us" only when OW gone and he's ready to commit 100%. How is that "chasing"?

One one hand, he wants me to grovel, admit it is all my fault, and feel like crap.
Then he wants to confirm his divorce talk.

Again, did he actually say this or are you mind reading?
He wants me to accept all responsibility and beg. Then he tells me "no". Happened last week. LAST TIME I SWEAR...

At this time, he is "living" in this house, I expect him to pay the customary bills. I usually buy clothes from my budget. He says his work clothes are all ratty (OW a co worker?)

A deal is a deal.
That's what I came up with, too...

Until you or he file for separate maintenance, nothing should change.
Yes.

What would your motive be in discontinuing the funding of clothing purchases? It's all community money, right?
Yes.

Don't mix the emotions of this with the "business" of the marriage.
Thank you for this...