Long term marriage - husband quit!

[labug]

He called this morning. Talking in circles about his feelings. I let him vent, for awhile.

He is obviously whacking away at my boundary (no divorce talk, period and no relationship talk until he is ready to get rid of ow/girlfriend/whatever and commit.)

It's only a boundary if you enforce it. Of course he's going to whack away at it as long as you allow it. You're in control of your boundaries.

I listened, and let it go. He said he wants a divorce, but wants me to "pursue" him.

Did he actually say he wanted you to pursue him?

One one hand, he wants me to grovel, admit it is all my fault, and feel like crap.
Then he wants to confirm his divorce talk.

Again, did he actually say this or are you mindreading?

At this time, he is "living" in this house, I expect him to pay the customary bills. I usually buy clothes from my budget. He says his work clothes are all ratty (OW a co worker?)
He wants to know if I will pay for clothes?

What should I do? On one hand "a deal is a deal", on the other HE CHOSE this circus, these are his monkeys.... do I cough up $$$ for new clothes?

A deal is a deal.

Until you or he file for separate maintenance, nothing should change.

What would your motive be in discontinuing the funding of clothing purchases? It's all community money, right?

Don't mix the emotions of this with the "business" of the marriage.