25yearsmlc, I have just re read or read your above reply in its entirety and I wish I had seen it all earlier, I just wanted to respond. not long after bd, I did decide that I needed a 'change' so had hair extensions put in, I normally dress well as im a beauty therapist and personal grooming is important. I am actually trying to gain weight as I want to compete in figure body building next year, I am naturally slender and I have thyroid disease, so gaining weight is an issue, so after I had the twins dropped right off. I have made some new friends that are not part of our normal social group or related to h, and its nice just to be 'me', I have signed up for a couple of classes that will completely take me out of my comfort zone. I do not want to live my life based on fear anymore, I have printed out rules and put them where I(not anyone else) can see them every day. I know its going to take a long time to un do the damage from the past and Im ready to begin the journey, I know there will be backsliding but I am committed, for myself, for our children and for m.
