Maybell, That has been my argument all along. The week after I found out, W told two of her sister. They both told her to end it and if she left the house to take the kids so it would not be considered abandonment. The weekend after, she told her SIL that "she met someone" in such a sick happy voice. Since then, she and I have told the rest including some of the adult children (in hopes they would reach out to my boys as they lived this hell as children too). W and her mother were having a deep conversation about this with a close cousin in the next room. He had to send a text to my S16 to rescue him. I have no idea why W's IC and my BIL would think further deception is best. The last thing she and I told S12 was that mommy was leaving for a few weeks to think some things through. At that time I believed this was true, I found out later she had no intention of leaving OM.
S16 was in the car when I found out she was continuing her PA. I told him that she had a friend. He said "boy-friend? but she's not divorced yet." I said that was why she left me. I also added that she loved S16 and that she was still a good person inside that got caught up in an adult problem. I also said that I still loved her and hoped we could fix this.
My mind got the better of me this evening and snooped her phone records. Even though she was supposed to be spending the weekend with the boys, she found time to call OM a few times... just before sending me the email I mentioned above. And to think she has the nerve to say she want's a respectable divorce. I really am trying here!
