Eleven hour drive home by myself with the three kiddos. In spite of various mishaps common to long car trips with young kids, it was relatively relaxed and a nice end to a busy trip.
H texted me to say he'd meet me at home to have dinner made for us so I wouldn't have to make an extra stop at the end. We had a family dinner like we haven't had in quite a while. I learned some interesting things:
1. I'm almost as detached from him as I want to be. He moved into his apartment this week while I was gone and spent a lot of today assembling furniture. He showed me pictures of it and I was surprised I wasn't upset. Big relief.
2. I was reluctant to talk to him about my family (got to know my brother's fiancée that I had only met once before). He had made a point of sending greetings to my family before we left and when I said I doubted my mother wanted to hear from him, he paused, thought, and said, well, tell her I said hi anyway. Once I'd been in the house 20-30 minutes, I thawed a little and found the line where I was comfortable sharing news with him without treating him like the confidante he was before.
3. I had been rehearsing ways to nicely ask him to leave after dinner because I really am very tired from the drive... But I didn't have to. My boys wanted me to read, my daughter wanted a bubble bath, and H volunteered to go back and continue working on his furniture. But he made a point of telling me when he'd be back tomorrow morning "so we can plan our day."
4. He also made a point of telling me that he would show me the apartment once the furniture was assembled.
This interaction was interesting and good because it was the friendliest we've managed in months. He even offered to help carry in luggage, which he didn't do after the last trip in April. I feel like if we maintained that amount of friendliness consistently over time that I would not be miserable or dread him being around. Over time it might even naturally warm enough to build something on. My favorite thing about my H is how easy I find it to like him and be comfortable with him. You know, when I'm not flaming mad at him for cheating on me with a pole-dancing baby mama, or ignoring me in favor of Lara Croft.
One other thing... I *suspect* his LL for showing love is acts of service. This seems to be a trend for a lot of guys? I'm experimenting with really ramping up on the words of affirmation I give him to see what effect that has on him.
There are a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with me that he would have been at the house this evening, so there's no point in mind-reading that. However, he went to a fair amount of trouble to make this particular dinner (which also may not have anything to do with me) AND he replaced my half & half so I'd have some for coffee tomorrow morning... So he thought about me some, at least. From what I've seen on this forum, that's a pretty good level of thoughtfulness.
Anyway, interesting, and I feel better about my own reaction to him, so I'll call today a win.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
