And now, reading other threads and reviewing books I realize - the 180 is just one of the techniques. It's good to change the "sameness" of fighting and to alter perspective.
But I'm thinking the most important thing for me to do is GAL.
Don't worry about what he's doing with OW. Do worry about myself...what would make me happier? More interesting (to myself!)? What could I do for myself and/or my community that would help me to stop perseverating on the things that I can't control?
While 180s may be good (changing behaviors that didn't work/make me unattractive), GAL is really much better.
First step in GAL for me...It's time for me to put the books away and step away from the computer! H will be home the day after tomorrow, so I really won't want to be perseverating on the issue anymore...I don't like him seeing me reading the books or checking these websites, so it's good that he'll be home. I'll be much better about monitoring the time I spend on this issue! Time for a new hobby or two or three!
Still figuring out boundaries, which is a trickier problem since I really am DONE talking about OW.
