The thing is Cadet, it wouldn't change who he is (at this moment in time). It would upset the balance of the dynamic to be sure, but it would not be authentic (as noted) and it would be a game of sorts.
B, part of the struggle with the bond is that he won't go away. The opportunity will present itself to severe that bond when the time comes. There will always be some sort of contact due to the kids, but the bond you speak of will at some point be weakened enough to be severed. It was a long time building it, and it'll be a long time before it goes away most likely.
The thing is, you had a lot of good years in that part of your life. You don't have to severe the bond with that part of your life. Rather, you would be severing it with the person who walked out and won't leave you in peace. In some ways, that behavior of his is helpful in that it helps to see he is not who he was and he's not anyone you know. It helps to see he is human and has his own set of issues to deal with. Even if you and the rest of the family have to also deal with them to some extent for a little while longer.
Gardening? Flowers or vegetables?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
