Hurt and Confussed

[pilot]

all in all not a bad place to be. If you have an indefinite amount of time to reply, then use that time to your advantage

[oad]

well after total silence yesterday she called this morning with nothing of importance, she asked how much does she pay the gardner, she couldn't remember if it was 40 or 45...well she has been paying the gardner for the last month...besides the gardner was there why ask me...anyways I was very calm happy and cool during our convo. When I told her it was 40 dollars she said ok and stayed quiet on the line, after a few seconds I said..ok talk to you later bye, she kind of sounded sad...she is leaving on Saturday to vegas for 5 days on a conference for principles. I don't even want to think of that...lol

[oad]

on a happy note..as of tomorrow I will be going back home to spend 5 days with my daughters while stbxw is on her trip. I look forward to a bed and not a futon..look forward to feeling independent again...if only for 5 days but what the hell...;)

[pilot]

Keep your chin up. Dont let your W being in Vegas get you down. Concentrate on the time with your Ds. Also do not read into her sounding sad. You do not know why she was sad. So do not let it influence what you are doing. Stay the course. You are doing well.

[oad]

well she called again about not having time to get a gift for a party my d's are going to tomorrow, me being the funny guy I am saw an opp. to throw in a little humor and she responded like she used to when things where good. So I then ended it with ok well talk to you later. Dammit im analyzing again...doooooh lol

[Ben2010]

No just count that as a success. Dont read into it more than that. Every positive interaction between you two is a win for you. Just another piece of the puzzle.

[oad]

well im back home for the next 5 days...bitter sweet, I feel a sense of independence once again(im living at my dads for now). But in the back of my mind I cant help but think what is going on in vegas where W is at. I know I shouldn't..but .....anyways time to fire up the grill and watch some world cup action.

[pilot]

Yea, seriously, do not think about Vegas and your W. I know you want to think the absolute worst case scenario because, well, its Vegas. But without knowing you or your W, I can promise you that whatever she is doing it is not what you imagine.

[oad]

well she texted me...

w just got to hotel, how are the girls

m good

w are they getting ready for the party

m already there

w ok

keeping it short and simple...

[oad]

Well while my wife is out of town I took the kids to her brothers house to swim in his pool and play with their cousins..The family has been very supportive of me and feel she is making a huge mistake. while there her cousin told me that the only hope I have is that she seems to be very sad(they all tell me this). But she also told me that W was telling her that she has some friends at work that are divorced and "fell out of love" and are telling her that they never been happier and that not to worry that she will be fine. She also mentioned things about our sex life that it was dull and that she would ask me to spicen things up and I would say no. Complete lie...I was the one that would ask her to do these things, ive been complaining for years(my wife has never been the kinky sex type) so now she is convincing herself that she wanted it and I didn't give it to her???? how much more crazy crap can she come up with...do I keep pulling away?? she says she wants to be my friend because that's how it started??? im scared if I commit to the friend crap that that's where we will stay and she will feel better about the divorce thinking im cool with it to...man this sux..don't know really how to handle this...any vets or anyone care to chime in?