Thanks everyone! I truly appreciate the support. It's good to know that I'm not alone. Wish we were all local so we can meet up.
Anyway, so from my last convo w/H I made a comment that there needs to be a third party mediator since our convo can get intense and escalate. Then I always have to excuse myself before I become destructive. He on the other hand insists that we stay in th room and talk it through. He says "we've already tried counseling and you said it was a joke." This shut me up. A while back I said (jokingly) "How do you think our counselor can help us with our M if he is divorced himself?" I admit it was a bit crass but I was trying to lighten things up. He took it the wrong way and months later it is repeatedly biting my butt! However, yesterday he comes home from work and asked me when my next IC appt was. I told him in the morning. He then said that "since you want a mediator I will go with you but you'll have to change the appt to an evening appt. And then he added "I still don't get what you mean but I will go if you want me to." Now...haven't decide if this is good or bad yet. I didn't want to push it so I just said "okay." I'm not sure if he thinks we'll be discussing divorce or if this is his passive way of agreeing to counseling again.
I've noticed that since I started having a life that my I'm becoming indifferent towards him. I feel myself pulling away...I'm getting fed up with his childish games. He still wears his wedding ring but now it doesn't seem to have weight for me. He drills me when I tell him I'm going out but yet I can't do the same because it makes him feel like I have him "under my thumb." He got annoyed with me for not coming home until midnight one night and said that he never did that how could I? I've detached myself emotionally but I'm afraid if I continue this way that he may think I've moved on.
Betsey, I see that it is now XH instead of H. Can u please expound? What worked and what didn't? And, how long before it was finally over? Also, I've noticed there are many on this site that have been on this journey for quite some time. This makes me anxious because I don't know if I will have it in me to push through.
