"Man The F*** Up" The Ultimate 180

[RedHawk98]

I appreciate your point there. I should have been more detailed.
I never wanted divorce obviously. Regards divorce filing, I was calm when I did it. There wasn't a thought of manipulating her (an impossible task if I wanted to with her unpredictable ways lately).
It was because I just felt absolutely hopeless and exhausted after a year of separation.

In the light of GOOD advice from you both and myself being calmer, I would like to see if my wife and I can see eye to eye on all of this finally.
Sadly I just cannot see her wanting to do that any time soon.

As you say, we can always remarry further down the line if things change.
This marriage is so damaged. Sadly, it's only myself that sees the positives that have come of this mess.

I'm not big on self praise, but I have done quite well on myself and GAL since all this.
New career, money behind me, a small business, shed a lot of negatives I had in life too.
I am living a far more exciting life than I was since Bomb Drop now.

I understand that you can't MAKE someone happy. I meant more that my wife and I were both happy people that shared and enhanced each other's lives for a long time.
The arrival of OM and his manipulative ways couldn't have come at a worse time in our marriage.
I watched my wife's personality change quite severely over the 6 weeks before she announced wanting a divorce.

Regards the skin treatment here, I'm really not worried at all.
Worst case scenario and it is cancer, it's the safest one to have. Removal has already started and just awaiting tests to see what it is.

I'm actually moving from England to Ireland, so would prefer to get all of this dealt with before I go.
Fresh start and all.

I am certainly not telling my wife about this situation.
Simply for the reason that it would seem like manipulation. Her cheerleaders would reinforce that too no doubt.

Now you've made me think about it, she will probably be upset that I don't want to tell her myself too.

Shes totally unpredictable at the moment.
Literally two people in one body.

Some days she's the woman I knew. Other days it's like watching an actress trying to remember her lines.
Not believable at all.

She just doesn't seem happy. There's none of the sparkle in her eyes anymore.
I hope she works out and solves whatever it is.
This was all such a train wreck that could have been prevented.