In addition to DR, and maybe DB, get "I Love You but I am Not in Love With You" by Andrew Marshall.
Work on being a "spouse, no spouse would leave."
Understand what factors led to where you are now and like Sandi's rules, let your spouse "think" you're happy and moving on. It does sound counterproductive but think of 2 magnets: when the positive and negative are facing each other the magnets cling together. Its a little similar to how you and your W came together. If you show her "love" and "hope" now you are giving her positive side a fellow positive. Flip the magnet and you will get a new result. It takes time and in time you will see new results
"Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you. And stay." ~ Will Smith
