Well wife came home said she would be at tball game and then an hour behind us for grad.party. she then told me she was tired of limbo. She had job offer but turned it down because I wouldn't talk to her about divorce. I told her my position hasn't changed. If she wants D I wasn't stopping her, but I could not help her with it. I have faith in her and thousands of people rebuild a marriages far worse than ours. She got mad and said I have been suckling up to kids. I told her I have been trying very hard to be a better father and sorry that she see s it differently. She then said she can't stay here. She said maybe she should get an apartment, I can keep house, then she will have me kicked out. I told her she can get an apt.I'd she needs too.but I wasn't leaving. She left room then took off without saying good bye.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
She us Mali pula ting me.last night trying to say kids don't all love her and maybe they would be better with me. I got suckered in and told her her gets loved her and we're on solid ground. I should have just let it go and not said anything. Any thoughts
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Just notice Credit card bills. She has been spending way too much. Salons, Victoria secret. Put 900 buck deposit for her eye lid surgery. I am thinking of canceling credit card changing checking acct. To get control maybe leave her gas card and cash budget for kids. Any thoughts
What's your motive? What's your plan?
Be careful of emotional decisions.
Do you have a budget for your own personal spending?
Are you in a community property state?
Does she have income income that's not tied to being a wife and mother?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Good advice on emotions. Not sure what to think of today. Wife came home from her over night around noon. The boys and I left for tball game. Wife and daughter came in time for game. After game kids and I headed for out of town graduation party. Wife was going home to shower and would be an hour behind us. I walked her to her car she told me I did a great job with the boys tball team. She had told me yesterday that I was really over doing with attention to our kids. Today I got a little emotional at end of game handing metals out to kids I have coached for 2 years, also when she told me I did a good job with tball. I told her my affection for our kids was real. She hugged me and got a little choked up. I told her I was sorry she couldn't find happiness with me and left. She made it to grad.party and stayed 3 hours it seamed like she caught up with my sister and a bunch of aunts and uncles. I sat with her for 30 minutes but spent most of my time catching up with people I haven't Sean in a while. My sister who wife was fairly close with knows we are having problems but not to what extent..anyway I saw wife walked to her car. I was taking kids for a ride on gator we stopped at her car. She appeared to have tears in her eyes. Guilt I am sure not love. But anyway I asked her if she was anxious to leave she said yes with a tone of anger or desperation she said kids don't want to leave can you get them. I said good byes to sister and got kids to car. We drove seperate so I could drive to lake for a fishing trip tomorrow. I hugged kids and gave her touch on soldier, told her I would see them tomorrow. The kids and I had a blast today.I don't know if she was feeling guilt or what today.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Mind reading will get you into trouble and cause you nothing but grief. You do not know if she was crying over guilt or found out some ones puppy died. I know it is tough to hide emotions, especially when it involves your kids. But next time try not to make comments like you are sorry she could not find happiness with you. That is pursuing, and makes you look weak. You do not know for sure she could not find happiness with you. She is going through a tough time, and does not even know for herself where her unhappiness comes from. So no point in TELLING her or ADMITTING you are the one who made her unhappy. Let her figure things out on her own. Be the confident guy who knows how to make people happy. And no initiating touching...ie shoulder touches.
Not trying to be bossy or hard on you. I have followed your thread from the beginning. You are gonna be just fine. Just remember the rules to DB and be consistent.
Best of luck!
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Just notice Credit card bills. She has been spending way too much. Salons, Victoria secret. Put 900 buck deposit for her eye lid surgery. I am thinking of canceling credit card changing checking acct. To get control maybe leave her gas card and cash budget for kids. Any thoughts
What's your motive? What's your plan?
Be careful of emotional decisions.
Do you have a budget for your own personal spending?
Are you in a community property state?
Does she have income income that's not tied to being a wife and mother?
You didn't answer the questions. Care to take a shot at it?
Last edited by labug; 06/29/1403:44 PM.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I have posted about my wifes family and issues in our marriage. I have mentioned her brother is my best friend. He is someone I have talked with throughout this crisis. he is aware of everything including A. My wife knows I have talked to him but she does not know to what extent. Anyway my brother in law went out ot his fathers <wifes dad> over the weekend. Dad brought up sitch about wife and I and basically said that wife had told her I did something in fall that made her decision to seek a D. They were under impression that I had an A. Brother in law told them that wasn't true. He felt with so much at stake he needed his father to know the truth, So he told him about A. He told them he had not spoken to her but once in 6 months that I have been the stabilizer with kids spending time with him and his kids to keep kids in touch with there cousins. His father and his wife were in shock. I know not to get family involved and I am not the one that instigated this. But the truth is the truth, Her dad may start to question her decisions and at least not be so supportive.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
