You may not be persisting in your words with him, but in your own head you are still stick and heavily attached. Just because you haven't verbalized it to HIM, doesn't make you detached. You are still reading into things like grills, and cookies, and wondering why this and why that.
Inside of you, everything in your life is still hinged on him and the fantasy of what you believe your future with him should be.
You still eat, sleep, and breathe this man.
I could not for the life of me figure out why my ex would give up a like with his infant daughter and his wife . Why he didn't want to see her grow up full time, have family holidays, vacations, birthdays. I beat myself over the head trying to figure out why he would give up his life with us.
Then, with much urging I stopped. I just stopped. I accepted that he did not want his future up include me or his daughter full time. He just didn't.
So you need to accept your exbf does not see his future including you in the way you want it to.
Let that fantasy go in your heart and mind, then you won't wonder why he says what he says or does what he does. You need to see your future without him, and I don't think you have seriously sat down to figure out what that looks like
^^^^. Gabby said it much better than I was about to.
Outward actions begin as inward thoughts, MM. Until you change your inward mindset, you will continue to project "needy/clingy/smothering" to your xBF.
You have NOT dropped the rope. Not by a long shot.
