I want you to 180 like the 180 is your child and you are helping that child grow.
STOP engaging him. I want you to forget about that phone and email.
I drove myself crazy for years with my husband's phone/email crap and robbed myself of joy. And I was a piece of crap, half-way mother as a result!
You need to work on you.
Volunteer, go to church, rock a dress! Put on makeup Every Day.
You will start to feel better once you start to focus on you and respect how Awesome You Are! You rock! You deserve happiness and giddy laughter and fun!
I want you to do something right away:
Go take a wonderful shower, do your hair, shave those wonderful legs and rock some makeup. Don't use your kiddos routine as an excuse. My son is autistic and a self-injurious one at that. But I make time. Even if he has to sit outside the bathroom door while I get ready.
I bet you are amazing! Treat yourself like you are!
