I am on the other side of the 180. I am the one perusing a divorce. BUT I had to completely 180 to get where I am today.
History: I was so depressed and leaned on my H for nearly everything. He cheated on me and it destroyed me for years. I was this sad, pathetic nobody. I was dying a slow, bitter and horrible death.
What made me feel even worse is that I am from Boston and was in town for the 2013 Marathon. I should not take crap from anyone. And I should walk around like I own the place, everywhere I go. But here I was this waste of space on this planet. Making everyone around me miserable.
I went to therapist after therapist, and I finally found the 180 and found myself again! The 180 was the key to me being me.
Since March, 2014 I have followed it like a rabid dog. I have NEVER been so happy. I love myself and my life now.
I have cultivated and re-cultivated new friends and old friends friends. They adore me and we have SO SO much fun! I went back to church and know that God and Jesus have my back, they love me too.
I was always frumpy with my appearance. I do have a great figure, but dressed like crap. Now I rock a dress and red lipstick every day. Even if it's not a work day, you bet I am ricking the heck out of a dress! (I got them at the local thrift store Savers, and they are about $5.00/each.) I look and feel professional and I carry myself like I am someone important, because I am. Took me a VERY long time to find that out.
I got a job at my local YMCA, where my autistic son attends camp.
But most importantly I live in my own room in the house and I am cheerful all the time, I NEVER buy into arguments. NEVER! Because that's what he wants.
I have all the paperwork ready and only need to coordinate a time to serve my H. But then..... He started to ask me where I was going each time I went out. Helped me with the laundry. Called me on the phone.
He started to be HIM again!
How wonderful!
So I have put the divorce on hold for now.
I had to be the change in this relationship. I HAD to move forward for anything good to happen.
I had to put my hand up in front of his face about 1,000 times and say "I am 180'ing it. I am bulletproof, you can not bait me or hurt me anymore."
Please know that you MUST follow the 180 the best you can.
Do not let your wife bait you. She is scared crap-less right now, and I am sure you are too.
I am still scared too. But I am committed fully.
And if I can do it, you can rock your life too
This post is long, but I want you to know that I am on the other side of the 180 and I want a divorce, BUT that pain in the butt is making it hard He's opening up and becoming that beautiful man again.
I love myself...and now I can put on the breaks and start to give love a chance again.
(I got them at the local thrift store Savers, and they are about $5.00/each.) I look and feel professional and I carry myself like I am someone important, because I am. Took me a VERY long time to find that out.