"Man The F*** Up" The Ultimate 180

[25yearsmlc]

Apologies 25. I've just seen your second post re:Response of WAW.

It certainly makes for humbling reading.
I know my wife felt terribly lonely and disappointed for a period of time.
How long that period of time was, I can't be sure.
We were always both very happy with each other. But not our circumstances.


2 reasons to stop saying this^^. In your first post you said that but you also said a LOT of contradictory things, like how you had been depressed for 2 years, and how unhappy your wife had been for sometime...

Plus, saying we were "very happy with each other" but "not our circumstances" is just wacky. Your "circumstances" are your life. They surround you. Change them when they are not good, or suffer the consequences.


This is the part that has kept me awake at night. Working out what is real from "WAW script/Affair Fog" (If you believe in such a thing at all? I'm interested in your opinion on that.)

I don't think it matters to see the marital history the same. I also think it's impossible, so efforts to do so, are futile.

What matters is seeing the future in the same way. And "fog" and "script" are not important b/c in TIME, the truth is revealed.

The amount of time is the only thing you may be able to influence and you have delayed it by constant R TALK and not enough change in you. Don't try to manipulate anything but yourself at this point.



I agree with around 50% of my wife's criticisms. They were totally valid! I addressed them as fast as I could under the circumstances.


Then that ^^ has to be enough for you.


The other 50% is where she will deny absolutely anything positive regarding us. Things said. Plans made.
Complete denial. Will contradict herself constantly. Some bare faced lies too.



So what? You contradicted yourself at least a dozen times in your first post.

AND
this is all ^^^ Irrelevant NOW< b/c, again, in TIME the truth is revealed. If there is genuine love for you left in her, it will shine through when you back off so she can have the time and space to examine it and perchance she looks your way, you will be a different man than before. You will have changed, for real.

Very frustrating. But I can understand she needed to validate her "crush" (as it took her 9 months to confess to, but no more) to some level.
They have been together all along on and off.

This^^ is not your job! Stop thinking about, discussing or attacking OM or anything else she does or says or plans or you think she feels, ETC>

Look in the mirror and work just on YOU and YOUR LIFE. When you begin to veer off and try to control her or the outcome, put a STOP sign in your head and go back to YOU...



I know you can't always apply Logic to Feelings.

I just wish I had the 25/Starsky Tag Team a year ago. Your advice would have made such a difference.

I have 2 family members who remarried their former spouses after divorcing...it happens.

Just work on you now.