Possilble WAW

[PeterV2]

Dawgy, I didn't think my W's affair would wither. Back in Dec she said she loves me but is not in love with me. She said she was in love with OM. She kept going to ML with him and that was killing me. I started DBing in March and by early June she said the A was over - he had too many problems. She claims NC but I still don't trust her - that rebuilding of trust is going to take time. But we've ML since then and she's leaning towards reconciliation.
As for your sitch, She does love you but is not in love with you - this is a text book sitch. Don't hug and kiss her when she leaves for work unless she initials it. I know that's tough. The first time I did that it was so hard that I burst into tears once she was out of sight. It gets easier. And it ABSOLUTELY necessary to do that. Don't tell her I love you. I know that's hard too. She needs to feel what it's like without you. The more you pull away the more she will be drawn back to you. It's so friggin hard to do but believe me it works. As soon as you pursue she'll back away, into OM's arms. So don't pursue. Back off. Yes, the A is fuelled by chemicals in the brain. And those chemicals will make her oblivious to reason or logic. Yes she will eat cake. But better right now that she eats cake a bit and you work on yourself than any other alternate plan of action.
The A will wither. May take some time. Yes, with a WAW it has gone too far off the rails. Like Sandi says, now you have to take the long way around. Patience. GAL. Read. Learn. Change.
Make a plan (you can check out my plan on my thread). When in crisis consult your plan, not your emotions. Stay Calm, Constant, Consistent and Confident (the 4 C's).