Glad you have a great perspective on your relationships. It can be hard to come by, but always worth it right?
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I don't know why we find it so odd. I feel slightly ill after any contact, and I still can't figure out why, except to note that it happens to a lot of other people who have MLC divorce and not to anyone who has any other sort of divorce. I only do really well when he is right out of my life.
If anyone has any theories I would love to know why this is so. I do think it is something about them and not about us. In one sense my xh is just another person, but on another level I can't deal with him at all
I agree, I think it is harder with the MLCr divorce. Not that I have much experience otherwise, but from what I've seen and heard, it seems so. I suspect it's because of the lack of reconciliation. Reconciliation doesn't mean we get back together or even have a relationship of any kind with a MLCr. It just means that there is reconciliation and finality, vs. having to deal with the nuttiness and drama and so on. With an ex bf/gf, you get that (in most cases), and you get that with a divorce that doesn't include MLC. But you can't reason or talk to a person with MLC/disorders so you lose that reconciliation.
I know I feel drained and sometimes even speechless when it comes to dealing with my ex. It works better for me to just keep things short, business-like and to the point and to be aware that she and her husband will try to suck me into the drama. And yes, it used to be nauseating at times. Just time-consuming now, but still draining at times. I get it
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
