Look, I know you love your wife and all, but considering her mental and emotional state, and her unrepentant infidelity . . . and how reactive you are to it all . . .
I personally don't see how you can even BEGIN to work on your own (considerable) issues while with her. Not in her current state.
I hate to say this, but I actually think you might BOTH be better divorced, work on your own stuff, maybe start dating each other again down the road after you're both in more healthy places, and who knows, maybe you end up back together?
