Originally Posted By: Oxford1

I asked her calmly to not have hime come here again..



This makes you look WEAK, which is also something we're trying to get you to work on. It's not an easy trick to pull off, Ox, but you have somehow managed to come across as BOTH "weak" and "controlling" all at the same time. (((rolls eyes)))

You don't ASK her to end her affair. And you don't TELL her, either (that is controlling). You TELL her that YOU cannot live in an open marriage (which you've already done, so don't tell her this again) and that you both have decisions to make.

And then you LEAVE IT, and work on yourself.

Can you see how you are simultaneously telling HER not to bring up OM, but then YOU are???


Starsky


Last edited by Starsky309; 06/27/14 01:43 PM.
M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)