Job, thank you - I never doubted what people here were saying and thought it would be validating that my very sober and tough minded lawyer also thought the same thing, without my even mentioning MLC!!
I do think I got one of the crazier ones, sadly, but they are all pretty nuts. I always knew that if he did too much destruction in the early stages he would go wholly out of control. Not sure we can influence this at all however.
When we do communicate he is abusive, even if he starts out 'nice'. Dialogue is simply not possible. The kids have had the same frustrating experience. Last summer he went all out to charm my youngest son and his fiancee, but he can't just establish a relationship and build it, like a normal person. The manipulation kicks in. Then he gets angry because people resist the manipulation and control There is always an agenda for control. He needs professional help, imho, no doubt about it.
