Bea, I am very sorry. Your lawyer has expressed the same thoughts that many of us have here about your xh. I do not think the marriage will cease his constant interference in your life. Getting married is his way of trying to seek attention from you and your sons and it's not going to work.
Your lack of communication is fueling his anger, hence the crazy making behavior. However, I do understand your desire not to communicate w/him and quite honestly, I don't think a court order will stop him either.
I'm glad you live a long way from him or he would be in your face quite often. I do hope that you find some peace and quiet in the days/months ahead.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
