So I'm seriously considering jumping out of an airplane.
I'm TERRIFIED of heights. $150 to jump out of a plane and scream like a 12 year old girl at a Bieber concert for 4 minutes.
The more I think about it, the more I'm leaning towards doing it. Haha! I've got butterflies now!
HAHAHHA! OMG I almost spit my coffee out when I read this! I see you still have a sense of humor Thorn! I have to agree with the the rebound girl idea. However it is important that you and the potential girl are TOTALLY honest with each other and acknowledge that's what it is. I myself have a date tomorrow night but we've both made it clear to each other that we are likely both rebounding...however we also both need each other right now since we are going through similar sitches. I see no problem with female company as long as you are honest with her and don't lie or lead her on. Sometimes having someone of the opposite sex to talk to who likes you is very therapeutic and you may just make a new special friend in the process. I know for me this girl is therapeutic for me and she has said the same thing about me. We just want to enjoy each other's company...nothing serious or anything. I think it would be good for you to entertain some ladies as long as you are up front and honest with them. Not only that but women are very smart, smarter than men in most cases, and they have insight into a woman's mind that we men don't understand (except for those of us who have read a bunch of books like many of us here.)We can learn a lot from the ladies.
Now as far as this jumping out of a plane nonsense you are talking about...I too am petrified of heights so all I can say is...just no LOL! Go to the Bieber concert instead LOL!
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Haha! IH, you crack me up! Take it easy with the new girl!
Labug - I dont know what's holding me back. I think I've been relying on WAW to make me happy instead of finding happiness from within. I'm working on codependence issues with my therapist. Alot of what I've read about codependency resonates with me and I look back on my previous relationships and see a pattern.
IC says I am an anxious attachment personality. When in relationships, I have a fear of abandonment that actually creates behaviors that become self-fulfilling prophecies. I can see that now. It all goes back to my childhood when my sister was killed in an accident and both my parents basically lost their minds and were'nt able to be there for me for about a year.
I'm a fixer, a rescuer. And then I expect my partner to reciprocate. Not healthy at all.
I can now see how much pressure I put on WAW. That wasn't fair of me. Yes I was there for her through all her problems, but that doesn't mean she owes me anything.
I'm starting to see the light, and that makes me happy because now I know where to start fixing myself.
LOL! Happy to give you a chuckle buddy! Oh yeah, as I said, this new girl is just companionship for both of us. She knows my whole deal and I know hers. We both talked about rebounding. So it's something we are aware of but we both just don't care. So in that respect I think it's a positive.
I am happy to see that your WAW is starting to reach out to you because you went (was it 5 weeks if I remember correctly?) without hearing a peep from her. That takes chops and I am so happy it paid off for you. As you always tell me...stay the course my friend!
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Labug - I've always suffered from anxiety. It's a trait on my mother's side of the family. AD's help, so does exercise. At night before bed, I've started listening to soundscapes (sounds of nature etc). That helps calm me down as well. Meditation is hard for me because I struggle slowing my mind down enough to benefit from it. Reading is a good distraction as well.
IH - Thanks! I'm trying to stay strong and will stay the course!
I also struggle with anxiety. About the meditation, it's hard for everyone. Start with 5 minutes then slowly increase as you can. Even 10 minutes a day is helpful but you may surprise yourself. Once you learn the tools, you can use them anywhere, anytime. You learned to be anxious, you can also unlearn it.
It's about controlling you thoughts, which you know you have difficulty with.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Much better day today than yesterday. I'm able to get a better grip on thought stopping than I have in the past few weeks. I think alot of that is attributed to sleeping better. I didn't realize how worn down I was due to lack of sleep.
After work, Im going to work out and then take D14 out to dinner!
