So idk what's going to happen now. I'm still in it and I'm not going to give up, however she just called a little while ago and was very angry. I guess she read all my text messages and it made her extremely mad.
Why you ask? Well I've always had guilt over my first divorce so I had reached out to my ex asking for her forgiveness and asking if we could get on better terms for me and my son. Also, I was extremely angry at her for a while and I was seeking validation for my anger from quite a few people and I wasn't speaking so nice about her.
I went through a phase where she was a horrible person for what she was doing and I made sure my friends knew it. I texted her family telling them I still loved her and wanted to be with her. Basically all of it.
I tried to just listen and tell her that I understand why she would be so angry and explained that I was very angry with how she is doing things and I sought validation for that anger through others. I tried to keep the conversation focused on her feelings and validating and owning up to my actions. I figured it's not my place to throw her stuff back in her face so I just left that alone. She said that she wants to go back to just talking about the kids and she was going forward with the divorce and that his parent's were going to pay for it. I simply told her to do what she felt was right. She said that at the beginning of the conversation and seemed a lot more calm by the end of it. She even called back about 30 mins later to ask if she forgot some stuff at the house.
I think I did very well in controlling my emotions and stuff and not getting upset. I still plan to only talk or text when she initiates and not pursue or try to make things right which is what the old me would do. I would have begged for forgiveness and told her I was so sorry and I would never do anything lime it again and that I love her so much.
Besides feedback on how to handle it going forward, I would like to know if I should delete my texting history or change my password so she can't read them anymore. Thanks
Me-33,W-26 M-4 yrs, T-5 years S- 2 D- 4 (Special needs, undiagnosed) Apr 2014 B date End of April 2014 Moved in with parent's
- If you are still trying to reconcile, and are asking for transparency from HER, I would not delete them or do anything that lessens my OWN transparency.
- However, if you are in an active legal situation (when you say "go forward" with divorce . . . has she filed yet?) or maybe even if I had a looming "GOING to file" legal gun to my head . . . I wouldn't be showing my adversary ANYTHING that has to do with my stuff.
There's a reason that they put that little "v" between the names of the parties.
Ok well I won't change anything then. She hasn't filed anything yet, and I told her that it came from anger and that I don't talk to her about anyone anymore, that I am choosing to keep it between her and myself and that I was simply praying for her and our marriage.
Do I not stress about recovering and just let my actions going forward speak for themselves?
Me-33,W-26 M-4 yrs, T-5 years S- 2 D- 4 (Special needs, undiagnosed) Apr 2014 B date End of April 2014 Moved in with parent's
