Yikes, sorry I haven't been on in a few days... I apologize!
I'm personally a fan of separation agreements. I had one set up shortly after Mr. Wonderful moved out so we both had "rules of engagement" and set the expectations until he could figure stuff out. That turned out to be 2 years. I think we both behaved better actually knowing what the rules were, and knowing we were both protected financially while he was off in limbo.
That way, you'll both know if she books a Caribbean vacation that costs $10K and you're still married, that it's not considered marital debt.
I truly know in our situation it took the pressure of not knowing jack and only kept the true issue on the front burner. Uh, and that would be, "will he come home?" instead of "how is he going to screw me over financially?"
Plus we have a developmentally disabled now D17, so we used it as an agreement to set parenting time. I know that isn't part of your equation, but just want to reiterate that it gave our separation the structure we both needed.
That's my $.02.
The other thing is that she might see you as willing rather than fighting her?
How's it going this week?
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
