Ok, so thinking and reflecting more on the convo with H last night. I keep thinking there were some nuggets in there that we need to explore further. So I was thinking of sending H this note. Let me know what you all think:
"H, It would be very helpful to me if we could make a plan to have further discussion around some of the items you mentioned last night. I thought I would send you a note so you can have a sense for what I’d like to delve into further: • It would be very beneficial if you could give me some feedback on how I handled the conversation. I know I was angry initially, which I am working to manage better. Sometimes I say hurtful things, and while I know it might be hard to understand, I am not always entirely aware that I have hurt you so much with my words. If there is something I said that was hurtful to you it would be helpful if you could tell me specifically so I can work on becoming more aware and not doing it again. • You mentioned that when we initially tried to reconcile you had a hard time being at home because of triggers that made you worry that we would never be able to work things out. Can you give me more specifics on these triggers? Was it mostly my anger? Something else? Any more info you can provide will help me figure out what, if anything, I can be working on on my end to help things. • You also mentioned that when we initially tried to reconcile you felt too much pressure. Can you give me more specifics on what this means? It’s not clear to me what pressure looks like to you. It would be very helpful to me if we could set a time that we could discuss these items. Let me know what you think. Thanks. Love, MDU
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
