Hi all - "was never in love"

[Mat]

Well tonight I leave for the biggest music fest in the world! Will meet W tonight as she brings back the car, and will stay in the house over the long weekend since it's free.

Last contact was a quick discussion about arrangements. Very factual, by text only.

So priorities are:
- NOT talk about relationship
- Showcase my nice life
- Be nice - not too nice
- Get out of the house as soon as I can!

Since I last posted I got a phone coach (overdue a phone call, need to get that booked!), and I've also had a psychological assessment via my health insurance. I will have 5 sessions of holistic therapy initially. Will see how that goes. I have communicated to them that I need to work on identifying, processing and communicating my emotions better. And set better boundaries in life. I think that will help me in future relationships. As much as possible, I will save talking specifically about my marriage for my coaching sessions and this board.

Mood is getting better. But I am very pessimistic about my odds. Everyday I grieve a little for what we used to have. Every object I bought while we were together reminds me of her and the times we won't have again. Really crappy. I must make sure I think about the awesome weekend ahead when I see her, and keep my snide and negative tendencies in check! I am sure she'll try to get information on how I'm feeling and what I've been doing with myself. I'll practice what to say on the ride home tonight...