Well what I want to suggest first is that you need to FIX yourself first, before you work on your marriage.
Yes what you wrote is enabling.
I can also suggest finding a book called Codependent No More - Melody Beattie.
I met a woman last week about my age, she has been married three times, all to people like your husband. Please tell me what the common denominator is here?
Why does she keep picking out the same type of people and expecting different results?
You already have a history of two, your father and your husband.
Do you understand what I see here?
Now I am not blaming YOU for their drinking.
And understand I don't have an alcoholic parent or spouse. But I am starting to see my own co-dependent behaviors, with the cards that keep getting dealt to me.
You have a great advantage in that you can start to work on those things before you end your relationship and go into another bad one.
